Sometimes it's easy to overlook or forget how many wonderful people we have in our lives and how much we have to be thankful for.
I was just looking through pictures of Aidan and Keegan, how in the world did we make such beautiful children, sometimes I even feel guilty. Why did I get so lucky when so many people are suffering everyday from the pain of infertility?
But today, I cried. I cried because I am SO in love with my babies. I carried my babies, felt some of their first movements, heard their tiny hearts start beating, and held them only minutes old. I don't know what they will do with their lives or where their passions lie, but everyday I see something new, a new word for Aidan and Keegan smiles a little more everyday. Little things but absolutely priceless to me.
Besides my kids, we have amazing people around us. First and foremost- Gina (AKA - Aunt Gina) What would we do without her? She is not only my BEST friend, a part of our family and my boys ADORE her. The love she gives them is unconditional and forever. I hope we never have a day without her!
Then there is my husband.
Sure we have our ups and downs and I guess lately I have been feeling more downs. But really, he loves me more than I could ever ask anyone to love me. I decided that I have to let go of some of the things that I have been really upset about. I won't go into too many details but when I came home from the hospital we had a pretty rough two weeks and I am still very angry at him for some thing. But tonight, I decided I can't let it keep eating me, let the anger build and come out over little things. Love can be difficult and I've had to realize that sometimes our greatest show of love isn't flowers or romance but giving each other extra sleep or some time away from the kids or the two minutes of alone time together. Life has changed, and we have changed but with that our love and bond only grows. May 19th will be our 10 year wedding anniversary, nothing special I'm sure but *maybe* Aunt Gina can watch the boys for a whole day ;-) and we can enjoy some quality alone time.
Another thing I am so thankful for...MOPS. I don't know what I would do without these ladies. They remind me that I am a good mom even when I feel less than perfect.
There are always opportunities to get out of the house, playdates and new friendships. I thank God everyday for MOPS, it has been a lifesaver.
So many things and people to be thankful for, I wonder how did I get so lucky!?
Another thing is that I have been suffering some depression. Not full blown Post-partum but the baby blues are sticking around a little longer. Is it from the issues with Chris? Or the winter and all the snow? Or the lack of sleep ( 3-5 hours of sleep at night is just not enough) Or just the stress of two kids?! I am dealing with it, but there are days I would like to just lay in bed and cry all day (today was one of those days). But honestly, I know that I will get through this and I am trying to stay active, positive and keep good company - staying away from the toxic people in my life. I don't need other people's negative energy.
"The past is history, the future is a mystery and today is a gift. That's why it's called the present"
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