A much needed MOPS meeting

Today, I have really tried to stay positive and try not to stress out. I am finding that very difficult lately. But with more stress I am having more braxton-hicks contractions and they make me feel horrible. They are getting so strong that I feel like I could pee my pants.
So naturally, it snowing like crazy this morning, my car wasn't cleaned off from the snow yesterday either, the roads were horrible and to top it off Aidan was being crabby. He has learned to say "no" to everything. It was a battle getting his coat, mittens, and shoes on. Arg!

But I NEEDED to get out and go to the meeting! So we get there a little late, no big deal. The speaker they had today was really great, she does all her cooking for the month in one day and then freezes it. And for a family of 5 only spends $80-$100 on the meals for the month - not including the fresh stuff, like milk and whatnot.
It was very cool!

I go back upstairs to get Aidan and he was SO excited to see me...it totally melted my heart! He hugged me and even patted my arm! So we have been working on walking and holding my hand so I don't have to carry him. Some days it's great...other days, not so much. So going into MOPS was great, he held my hand played in the snow a little and was very good. But coming out, he had a tantrum kicked his shoes off and was crying/screaming. So, I'm contracting, carrying him picking up shoes...it was a mess. And he cried the whole way home. :-/
But he just ate A LOT for lunch so I'm guessing he played hard and was just really hungry. They do get snacks but sometimes it's not enough.

Anyway, my amazing friends from MOPS are throwing me and another girl, Andrea, at my table a "Mother's Blessing" it's like a baby shower without gifts, but we are doing a labor/birthing necklace for each of us. Each charm will be given from our friends and will have special meaning and we can wear them during labor/birthing to know we are supported. They will pray for our babies and a safe delivery. It's a beautiful tradition!
Its very cool! I am so excited! Andrea is due the day before me, has a son 3 months older than Aidan and is also having another boy. So we have a lot in common. :)
So that will be Monday night!

Tonight we are doing a craft night, we will have some snacks and we can all work on whatever craft we just don't get the time to work on with kids and husbands and life! :) I am crocheting a blanket for Keegan, just like I did for Aidan, I am about 80% done. So this will be a great time to really work on it without "someone" running off with my yarn! lol And I get out of the house to hangout with the girls!!!!!

Now, it's nap time for Aidan and I need to rest!

Another doctor appointment...

So everything is okay...my BP is okay. Still a little high but nothing like last time, so we are just watching it. No progress yet, weight is the same, and I am measuring big...and the doctor kept going on about how big the baby is. (oh and I had to hear about how narrow my birth canal is) I kept saying, he is big and I am really uncomfortable. I was hoping they would move my c-section date up a week or so...but not yet. Maybe next time. Sarah I may just get that 9 pounder. lol

I am just not okay anymore, my emotions get the best of me and I cry all the time, I am beyond tired everyday, I seem to get irritated over nothing, I can't seem to remember anything, EVERYTHING aches and all I can think about is having this baby. Even when my best friend was over I felt irritated. Sigh. I am really craving solitude and just being home. I totally forgot how miserable the last month is. I am thinking of doing some mall walking this week...but I would need the energy to drag us out of the house!

Anyway, I go back to the doc next week.

36 week appointment

I'm huge, I'm cranky and I am SO uncomfortable! Heartburn so bad that it could burn through metal (i swear) and little feet in my ribs!
Luckily, he is starting to move down a little and that makes me a little more comfortable.

My blood pressure is creeping up again :-/ but I don't think it will get as bad at before. The doctor has me coming back on Monday to just make sure. The baby is measuring at 5lbs 12oz and our guess will be about 7.5-8 pounds. Yay! (no 9 pound baby thank you Sarah!) But he is very healthy and ultimately that is the most important! Only 26 more days!

Aidan has been neglected from my blog posts. He is doing really well. It has taken him a little longer ( i think) to get a hold of his words. But it seems overnight he has become very verbal. We will say "you did it!" and he will say "i did it!" Very cute! He says "I sit", "I draw" and lots of other things like "where'd it go" or "where did da go" He calls Chris "da" and me "momma" lol

He is starting to say his letters, we joke that he can say all his vowels! When he says "w" it comes out "double d" Cracks us up! We are always trying to get him to try and eat new things so we say "Aidan try this" he'll say "I try" and then offers his snacks or sippy cup to us and says "you try". He is still a little guy but we have found him to have excellent social skills. He never takes toys or is pushy, he would rather give a toy to another little one and has mastered sharing. So hopefully he will be a great big brother! And he loves watching older kids and just smiles and laughs watching them play.

Anyway, I think it's nap time for both Aidan and I! I'm beyond exhausted!

Quick Update

Hi everyone!

I had a wonderful 30th birthday and a wonderful Christmas! Normally I put so much effort in making the holidays enjoyable but this year, everything just fell into place.

Chris was off work from the 17th until the 27th. I was really sad to see him go back to work :(
But as we keep joking...soon he'll have a 2 week "vacation" when the baby comes. So not really a vacation but it will be nice having him around for two weeks.

I am almost 36 weeks now. Tomorrow I have a doctor appointment and an ultrasound. I'm very excited, I can't wait to see my baby again!

Yesterday, I dropped. Who knows if he will stay low as I know he's not fully engaged. But it's a nice break being able to breathe, getting up and down is easier and the heartburn has subsided some. I look A LOT smaller as well. Yesterday I also had a lot of "pinching" pain at my cervix. Like if you were having a really rough pap smear. So I *could* be starting to thin out some. But again, who knows, and hopefully I will get some answers tomorrow.

Well, I will update again tomorrow after my appointment! The best part is that Chris was able to get off work to join me tomorrow. :-)

34 week appointment

Today i had my 34 week appointment...it was very uneventful. My blood pressure keeps going down (Yay!) but event he nurse asked today if i was doing anything different and I said I've been trying to eat better - ie: more protein, more fiber...yada yada.
Really it's kinda crazy, but good. I took it the other day while I was at home. It was 122/66. I was shocked!

I go back in two weeks for my last ultrasound...I'm anxious to see HOW big this little guy is since I am HUGE, he is measuring on the larger side and I am now losing weight.

Then after that I start going every week and before you know it, it will be time to have Keegan.
Sigh. I have been very emotional, going between wanting Keegan now and not wanting my pregnancy to end. I am pretty sure he is our last and it makes me sad. Honestly, I cry over nothing right now...and I am an emotional wreck.
I think part of me wants to try to have this baby naturally...but I also know all the reasons why I don't. Sigh.

This Friday is our last MOPS meeting until after the holidays. It's our turn to bring food and they have a fun activity planned. I am very excited! Also, the ladies at my table are giving me a "Mother's Blessing" - kinda like a baby shower but no gifts and just a celebration of the new baby about to come into the world.

Next week...I turn 30. I am not really sad about it or anything but I have to wonder where my 20's went to?! But I have to say that Chris and I spent most of our 20's having fun and enjoying life. We really had so much fun together and now is our time to raise our babies and enjoy them...they don't stay small for long. :)
One thing that I have started doing is straightening my hair. It looks really nice ( a little more grown up) and it's just something new for me. As Chris called it - I'm having a mid-life hair crisis. LOL I just needed something new!

Quick Update

Things are going well here...

I have 6 weeks 3 days to go until we meet Keegan! I am getting very excited! Or it could be that I have heartburn that could eat through metal, I'm exhausted all the time and I'm getting very uncomfortable.

Update on my mom situation...We all went over there last weekend after visiting Santa and his reindeer near my parents home. (Side note- the reindeer were awesome! Aidan got to feed them and pet them! They were very sweet!) But my mom stayed in her room the whole time and didn't want to see us. How very childish. Oh well, at this point I can't worry about it. I have Christmas, friends, my family and many other things to worry about.

Tonight we are going my husband's company party...it's actually for their 25th Anniversary but it's conveniently close to Christmas. :) Regardless it will be AWESOME! They always go above and beyond and last time they had Kid Rock come, they've had Black eyed peas and even the Monkey's play...this year, who knows...rumor is Journey will play! So besides being HUGE I am really looking forward to a fun evening!

I am getting ready to jump in the shower and start trying to look somewhat put together! :) Have a great weekend everyone!

Between a rock and a hard place...

As most of you know I have issues with my mom. Basically it comes down to she claims I said things that were never said. This was a year and a half ago. I have proved the best that I can that these things weren't said. sigh.

So today I get a call from my dad and basically he says that the only chance to get our family back together is to apologize to my mom (for the things I never said).

Since we haven't been speaking, I have had a chance to deal with some of the issues from growing up with her. I feel like I have really grown up and become the person I want to be without her holding me back. Before, when the phone rang I cringed and didn't want to answer it because if it was my mom, I never knew why she would be calling or what kind of mood she would be in, would I be in trouble for something...seriously it was bad.

The question lies in can I forgive her and forget. I don't know. Yes, I want my family back together. Yes, i want a mom. But at what cost?!?
And the biggest question...what prevents this from happening again? Since she made all this up in her head what stops her from doing it again?

Anyway...I guess that's all. I just have a lot to think about and some big decisions to make.